Teh Xiggeh

More crazy UK stories

Posted in Funny Stories by Xiggeh on August 9, 2006

Just when we thought the world had gone mad enough…

Street Wars

Have you heard of Street Wars yet? If not, check it out – they have to hunt down other players in the city and squirt them with a water gun. It sounds like a great laugh, and if I had the time I would’ve taken part. But according to a news story players of Street Wars could face charges by police. Why? “water guns look real and could lead to armed police being deployed”.

How on Earth can a trained police officer mistake a flourescent yellow SuperSoaker water pistol for a lethal weapon? And if they did make that mistake, deploy armed officers, surround the poor wet chap and scare him shitless, exactly whos fault is that? Should the person with the SuperSoaker be charged for this? Or should police officers take the blame for spending thousands of pounds of tax payers’ money on a crazy false alarm?

Child Abuse

A booklet being handed out to school pupils across the country explains pupils “have the right to be protected from emotional or physical abuse”. Absolutely. “…such as cross-country running.” Woah, back up the bus. Cross-country running is child abuse? Now I admit I didn’t enjoy it at school, but I was the fat kid at the back, and no fat kid at the back enjoys it. But that’s what school is all about, non?


A fireman’s job is never easy, but thanks to the wisdom of fire chiefs their job has been made that little bit safer. Yes indeed – they have banned the fireman’s pole because it poses a “health and safety hazard”. Apparently someone may slip off and hurt themselves, turn an ankle or receive chaffing to the hands or thighs. Uh huh.

But now firemen can respond to calls in a much safer fashion – six blokes running full-tilt down two flights of stairs.

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